Bart Got A Room Review

Bart Got A Room (2009)

3/4

A not so nude teen comedy that doesnt require full view of boobs or ass to become a fun ride. Brian Hecker writes and directs a teen comedy about what life means to a average high school kid and how the most unsuspected night becomes the best memory of ones self. Bart got a room but he is not the lucky one.

Plot follows nerdy kid Danny(Steven Kaplin). A Jason Biggs look alike. His unsuccessful attempts at securing a prom date becomes a problem despite having his friend offering a date. He denies it because their just friends. As the film goes on, so do his problems. With no answer, he must answer to his dweeb father and quirky mother to get lucky. Ever wonder how awkward it can be when you need your father or mother to get laid. I would find it embarrasing.

Similiar to American Pie, its about getting laid with hot chicks. But a nerd cant secure a hot chick. It doesnt happen that way. So you deal with what you got. Even if she has freckles and crabs. You get what you can. But the film doesnt end in the laid idea. It actually ends up with two friends and a ex couple enjoying themselves. It doesnt show the boobs or the bare naked ass but it shows lessons. The lesson of friendship and the control of your own life. Its more of a emotional feeling then it is physical.

I dont think this is better then American Pie but its way of being a more original teen comedy is much more appeasing then to watch some American Pie spinoff. William H. Macy and Cheryl Hines are among my favorite actors who make this all the more humerous. The laugh out moments actually appear in the background then it is dialogue or on screen moments. A funny experiment with teen romance and marital problems that becomes a fresh comedy surrounding a nerdy high school kid.

Shorts Review

Shorts (2009)

1.5/4

A goodfeel kid comedy that tries to be exciting but only to humans below the age of 10. I can take kid films and sometimes even enjoy it but there are some that is just to much. This was it. Robert Rodriguez has brought us the acclaimed Spy Kids. But this was less fun and more annoying. I wish this film to be better....HMMM...no response.

The plot follows a series of kids who discover a magic rock that can make their wishes come true. It follows most consistently with Tobey Toe Thompson(Jimmy Bennet). He narrarates the film as well as making it horrible. He tells the story in a series of episodes of how the rock was found. It started with Loogie Short(Trevor Gagnon) who thought video games and t.v was boring. Yeah right. Anywho. On a rainy day, he decides to go on a adventure. Doing so, he discovers a rainbow rock. From there, he wishes the wrong things and soon the rock travels through the town of blackbox.

Like a Captian Underpants comic book, its focus on children that make this nearly intolerable to adults. I barley liked it. The countless episodes doesnt confuse you but you wished it never happened. To say this as a good film is like saying Troll 2 deserves 15 oscar nominations. Its slapstick comedy and attempts at teen drama always ends up more annoying then humerous. To enjoy this, it takes more then a soft spot for kids film. It takes drugs.

To summarize it all. It can only be enjoyed by kids. During my screening, the kids barley laughed and the adults were staring at their watches. So maybe it takes a younger kid. Fouled by childs play and ridiculed characters, this suburban american setting defiled by everything in it becomes monday morning trash.

Doubt Review

Doubt (2008)

4/4

A masterpiece which brinks upon the most simple sin...Lies. An all star cast that John Patrick Shanley used to motivate a stage play featuring religious backgrounds and honesty. Since I have gotten into films, Meryl Streep has been that person who always wows me everytime shes on screen. She was the reason why I took a chance on it. Not the oscar nominations, not Amy Adams, nor religion but Mery Streep. And needless to say. She made this film more amazing then anyone could have.

The plot follows Father Flynn(Phillip Seymour) who begins a sermon talking about doubt. From there, you are introduced to Sister James(Adams) and Sister Aloysuis(Streep). James is the quiet and innocent nun while Aloysuis is the dark and strict nun. Two different personalities that starts to question Father Flynn when they expect foul play. What foul play? Well they expect that Flynn made advances on Donald Miller(Joseph Foster). Sounds like a cheapshot to the already heated stereotype about priests sexually abusing altar boys. The whole plot is surround those four characters. Donald is caught drinking altar wine and Flynn who is sympathetic tries to hide it. That is where the lies and doubts come in.

The film goes on giving a feel to how each character is. It actually becomes a stepping stone to personalize its characters. Donald Miller returns with an odd expression giving Sister James a odd fealing. Consulting with Aloysuis, they plan to settle it by talking to Father Flynn. Quite simple until they go to far and the reputation of Flynn starts to dissolve. From there, Flynn tries to clarify, Aloysuis is trying to convict Flynn, while James is turning evil. So everybody is hell bent and with no other answer, they devour each other until one have doubts.

The performances of the main cast was amazing. Seymour and Streep doesnt suprise me. But Amy Adams and Viola Davis who protrayed Donalds Mother were darkhorses to Streeps dominance. That was the first time I took Amy serious. The first time I recognized Viola Davis. Their impressions were good and served them well as they were nominated for oscars.

I absolutely loved this film. Its performances along with its strict suspense following wrong doing is simply amazing. I watched without walking out or checking my watch. I watched with curiosity. Its controversy can upset others but to me, its dark tone and iffy mood made this all the more exciting. It takes more then star power to win me over. The characters, the story, and the message brings this film to the top ten of 2008. It is one of the best films for that year. It undoubtly deserves so.

Filled with twists, lies, and anger, it never falls through as some cheap film made to criticize church officials but to examine it. To note that we all have our doubts. Without evidence, thats all we really have. Sometimes the truth is spoken and lies are placed by judgement. To ones first impression becomes their obsession. All elements presented into this film that made me love it. A thrilling film that doesnt need explosions. All it needs is Meryl Streep and a script devoted to human values.

Five Fingers Review

Five Fingers (2008)

2/4

Laurence Malkin and his feature film surrounding muslims and a american forcing a dutch accent almost seems comedic. But its guessing game and elegent thrills that causes the loss of human fingers doesnt seem so pleasant. Laurence Fishburn and Ryan Phillipe are fine actors that make this film work. Everything else seems subtle and undesirable.

The plot follows a dutch pianist Martijn(Phillipe) who travels to Morroco to assist his food program with a million embezzled dollars. With the help of his scottish tour guide Gavin(Colm Meaney), they travel unto Morroco only to get kidnapped by some religious muslims. The two is then introduced to Ahmat(Fishburne) who kills off the scottish guy and then tortures the dutch. How reluctant. From that point, a guessing game begins that dwells into lies, honesty, and betrayal.

Most of the time, all you really see is a man tied to a chair playing chess in some warehouse filled toilet drapings and terrorists. Although I liked the clausterphobic approach, the silly games doesnt hold up. What kind of a interrogation is that. Lets play chess and play Q & A until you lose all your fingers. Silly but can be quite violent for the naked eye. Another word....graphic.

Its nature was to be a mystery twist filled lies that lead up to a mans death. Its set up to project fear unto its viewer. Its trying to screw with us. Love it or hate it, it was exciting. The suspense and revelations are some of its tools to excite and scare us. What you expect doesnt turn out to be. Exept, its the exact oppisite. One seems so friendly, just became public enemy. Lets just say that a dutch pianist is planning to destroy the world. Won't tell how or why. Find out for yourself. You would get a kick out of it.

A character driven film that relies to much on star power. Despite great actors and a well twisted plot, its drastic approach on torture and stereotypes make this something to forget. Ryan phillipe might be somewhat believable as a dutch but the elements are to disorientated to become anything interesting.

Inkheart Review

Inkheart (2009)

2/4

A book about people who can read stuff out of the books sounds cool already. In this seemingly magical adventure about family and moral values can sure be a sight. Its all good until everything turns into countless cliches and the back to back captures dont make this all the better. Iain Softley has been a part of some bad movies like "The Skeleton Key" but had his share of greatness in his film "The Wings of the Dove". So not all is bad but having Brendan Fraser is almost never a good thing. Sorry Fraser, last time I saw you in a good movie was "The Mummy".

The plot basically follows Mortimer(Fraser) and his daughter Meggie(Eliza Bennet) traveling across the world to try and find this book called Inkheart. It was the first book that Mortimer foud out he can read things out of the book. In basic terms, the things he reads out loud comes to life. Everything seems natural until some stranger by the name of Dustfinger(Paul bettany) comes along. He wants Mortimer to read him back into the book. While Mortimer wants to try and read his wife out. Some dilemma and kind of awkward. In the meantime, a guy by the name of Capricorn(Andy Serkis) wants Mortimer to read the Shadow out of the book so that he can rule the world and dah dah dah.

It seems like the perfect plot and almost even appealing. But it fails greatly resulting into some kid flick filled with great visuals. I can recommend this to a family that has young kids who would love almost any movie. A lot of the film focuses on how to escape and how to get abducted. Kind of makes you feel pretty dumb after a while. Your saying to yourself "Why do they keep going to this place", and you answer "It makes the film exciting". Maybe it does or maybe it tires us after three or four scenes of back to back abductions. Kind of like thoses missing girls that never come back. Scary but still, people keep trying to put themselves in danger. Maybe thats what family means. No one gets behind and anyone whos in the way is going to get the fist. Funny part was, it actually made the movie less exciting.

I love Eliza Bennet and Helen Mirren as actresses. They are among my favorites and their talent are among the best. You may remember Eliza from "Nanny Mcphee" but you would definantly remember her for "Inkheart". She stole the show and her maturity really shows. She is kind of like the Emma Watson protege. A young lady with a wonderful accent that happens to know how to act. A lot of family films have come out this year and this delivers to be rightfully so. If your not a kid and you dont appreciate the actors, then this film would definantly not be for you. If you do like the actors and can tolerate kid flicks then it becomes a passable event.

A film layered with dazzling effects and stacked with a strong cast, it almost seems perfect. But its cliches and predictable storyline makes this all the more of the same. Tolerable despite having such promise. To me, it was a cheap popcorn flick that I enjoyed sitting through.

The Time Travelers Wife Review

The Time Travelers Wife (2009)

1.5/4

Ever wondered how people can fall in love with a guy who disappear simultaneously. I cant, yet people write about it. It actually became a best seller. Sometimes I wonder if I wrote some weird book about teleporting people that I will become a best selling author. HAHAHA, who knows. Eric Bana and Rachael McAdams team up as this hot couple in this ever confusing and breakable drama fixated by alcohol and abortion.

The plot follows Henry(Bana) as this guy who time travels often when he is in stress. During his travels, he meets young Clare(McAdams) who he falls in love with in the near future. Which comes to my question. If he randomly disappears because he's in stress, does that mean he's in stress with Clare all the time? Hmmm, I dont know but it seems that way. The plot becomes quite simple from there. They get married and from there experience difficulties that normal couples would experience exept without the time traveling. Clare experiences several miscarriages and often argue with her "lover". Which leads me to another question. She loves him yet most of the times shes mad at him, why is that? Well just like she said, "Who would want that". Who would want a man who disappears without question. Who would want to wait for their entire life for love. Well Clare or McAdams. Apparently you do. So why the bitching.

Sometimes I never fully understand their situation. Theres a particular scene in which can make you draw your own question. I will let you decide. But for a clue. There are to many Henry's to pass around. So this film relies on something more. And thats Star Power. Rachael and Eric is going to have to fix up some good chemistry to outwiegh its stupid plot. They actually do. The few positives that appear in this film. I like Eric Bana as an actor and his ability to charm along with his co star make his character all the more likable. McAdams suprised me a bit herself. I enjoyed her performance that as the film goes on seems to be shortlived.

Book lovers might find this film a lot better then some outsider like me. Its easy to draw comparisons and if its loyal to the novel, then its all good. For people like me who could care less would find themself utterly confused on this complicated nature of unlikely patience and love. A film that relies to much on star power easily degenerates to typical formulatic romantic dramas that never cease to end as long as people still read about love. A horrible film that latches on the backbone of McAdams and the predictable elements that arise in this overgrown romantic love story.

District 9 Review

District 9 (2009)

3.5/4

District 9 was presented by Peter Jackson as a Scfi Fi documentary filled with not angelic aliens but humane. Niel Blomkamp has been involved with many Sci Fi flicks but this is his first feature film. And Peter Jackson is the right man to start it with. Jackson might as well be the modern Steven Spielberg. And what more to start a career then to do something you are already familiar with. District 9. A more then compelling story about alien slavery who desire freedom through the voice of one human. Or through the actions you might say.

The plot is followed through a place called District 9 located in Johannesburg, South Africa. It is known that the aliens had landed here 30 year ago. All they want is to go home. But apparently their ship module fell into earth. At this time, the humans are skeptical and appear to have raided the area and capture the aliens and housed them in district 9. More like just another Shack Town that has been abandoned. The aliens are soon called Prawns. Known to be some cricket race.

That is how it all started. Since then aliens have started to negotiate with the humans while our mankind used the alien intelligence to manifest ridiculous weapons that shoot blue lasers. The film kind of starts of with a documentary type approach. Making it look like your watching something off the history channel. This time its not about presidents or natural disasters but aliens. After the somewhat slow start, the film treads into raw violent action deprived of human touch. I'm talking about ripping arms and such. Extremely graphic and it can at times be to much. But I felt it was needed for that realistic touch. To not become just another Sci Fi flick but to feel like we are there. Watching from the news or experience it first hand. As if prawns really do exist in South Africa. At this point, all you want is the lead guy Wikus Van Der Merwe(Sharlto Copley) to help these near helpless creatures.

This film doesnt come without its controversy. With its apartheid and its racial indifferences. Yes, the south african civilians are shown as vagrants and the theme seemed to be racially divided. But there is a much greater problem. The aliens are often abused and toyed with like animals or tested like assembly line leftovers. The cruelty can often seem like some cheap trick by PETA. But it creates that human emotion that seemed left out of our human friends. The prawns become the humans and the humans become the beast. In other words, the humans are shown to be more barbaric then humans are. Which is probably true. Our hunger for power and advances doesnt lie. We love it. We would do anything for it. Even if it does question our moral.

Neil made us remember that not all aliens are godlike creatures that save the world with their UFO's and martian magic. But to be relatable. To show affection and to express basic human emotions. To give us a feel about how real this world can be. Instead of this fantasy that Fox News puts up every day. I felt sorry for the aliens. I loved them. There are no other sentimental feeling but for the love of an entire unknown race. Something to look for in the near future. Aliens...do not come to our world.

This film is not only visually stunning(Despite with a budget of 30 million) but an endearing story about a man who chose to do the right thing. One who chose freedom other then oppression. The funny part is that with its rather small budget, everything looks so real. I guess Peter Jackson knows what to do when it comes down to special effects. His Lord Of The Ring Trilogy speak for themselves.

With its dark undertone and graphic nature, its the most disturbing film of the year. But put a little bit of human heart and some top notch action and you get the years best film.